The Attack of the Mary Sues
by Nezumigirl
Summary: UPDATED! CHAPTER 3 IS UP NOW! A weird short fanfic about Kyo and Yuki discussing Mary Sues and surfing fanfics together.
1. Who is Mary Sue?

'_Kyo turned to Tirana, "I love you," he said, "We can forget about Tohru, you are my new love!" and they hugged.'_

"**UGH!" **Kyo spat, "This is sickening!"

"What is it this time you stupid cat?" asked Yuki.

"It's some weird fanfiction thingie. The writer is making **_me _**fall in love with some stupid girl I don't even know!"

"A Mary Sue."

"A **_what?_** Who the heck is Mary Sue?"

"It's an original character designed to fall in love with characters like us. Unfortunately, it happens a lot in fanfictions."

"Since when did you know so much about fanfictions?"

"I've read a few. And for once, I have to agree with you, scary as it may seem. The type of fanfiction you just read is revolting."

Kyo sighed, "What kind of sicko would write this junk?"

"Someone with a mind like Shigure, maybe. Is this your first time reading one of these?"

"Yes. And the last time I'll ever read one of these too."

"What made you read Furuba fanfictions?"

"Just curious. Ya gotta problem with that, Rat Boy?"

"No. Like you, I was 'just curious' to see why you were interested. But if you don't like the one you just read…"

Yuki grabbed the mouse and entered "Kagura" into the character 1 box and "Kyo" into the character 2 box.

"Hey, what do think you're doing? **_I_** was using that!" Kyo yelled, but Yuki paid no attention and clicked on a fanfiction called "Kyo changes his mind about Kagura".

Kyo began to read it and his jaw dropped in horror. Yuki smirked, "What do you think?"

"This is almost worse!" Kyo shouted, and grabbed the mouse from Yuki,

"You think this is over Rat Boy? I can do better."

And Kyo proceeded to enter "Yuki" in the character 1 box and "Saki" in the character 2 box. Then he clicked on a fanfiction called "Yuki realizes it's destiny to be with Hana."

Yuki read a little and turned off the computer.

"It ends here, my little furry fiend," he said, in an icy tone

"Oh yeah, you started it!"

And with that, Kyo and Yuki began to turn over tables, knock things over, and in the end, Yuki sent Kyo flying out the sliding doors.

A/N: I just wanted some way to express my displeasure for Mary Sues, and I figured Kyo would be the best person to do it. The little bits about Kyo x Kagura and Yuki x Hana were just to add a little humor. But don't get me wrong, I love Kyo x Kagura and Yuki x Hana is fine.


	2. Shigure's Favorite

Tohru sat down and turned on the computer.

"No! Honda-san, wait! Don't look!"

Yuki rushed to the computer, but it was too late. Tohru was already reading what was on the computer screen. Unfortunately for Yuki, he had forgotten to exit the Yuki x Hana fanfiction Kyo had pulled up, and it was blaring on the screen in front of Tohru.

"H-Honda-san, I…" he began. Tohru didn't know anything about fanfictions. And how was he going to tell her that it was part of a fight he and Kyo had?

"Is… this something Shigure wrote?" Tohru asked slowly. She couldn't see why Shigure had used Yuki and Hana's names, but she couldn't think of what else it could possibly be.

"Er… not necessarily. It's hard to explain. It's not anything strange is it, Honda-san?" he asked innocently.

"N-no! Not at all! It just seems a little different, that's all."

Just then Shigure walked up.

"Reading fanfictions, now are we?" he asked.

Tohru didn't understand, "Fanfictions?"

"Yes. They're stories written by fans. This one is a Furuba one about us, or rather… Yuki and Hanajima-san," he said, looking at the screen and raising an eyebrow.

"Allow me to show you one of my personal favorites, Tohru-kun," he said.

Shigure entered "Shigure" in character box 1 and "Ayame" in character box 2. Then he clicked on a fanfiction called "Sleepless Nights, a yaoi story".

Tohru read a little, and her eyes widened.

Yuki looked over the screen and gasped, exiting the program.

"Shigure!" he yelled

"Is it such a sin to show Tohru-kun one of my favorite fanfictions?"

"Out! Get out!" Yuki yelled

"Now, now Yuki. Telling someone to leave their own house? That's rather rude, don't you think?

"How could you show Honda-san such a thing?"

Shigure laughed, "Well, perhaps it wasn't the best one to show her but what can I say? It was one of my favorites."

And so Yuki argued with Shigure and yelled at him so loudly that the people on the edge of town complained.

The End


	3. A visit

A/N: Oh, it's been a long time since I actually wrote another story. I've been really into poetry recently so that's what I've mostly been writing. I thought my poetry was better then my stories, but apparently not. No one seems to like my poems  Oh well. Anyways, I just decided to write another chapter of this for the heck of it. I felt like writing another story. I might write something like this with the Fullmetal Alchemist characters, so if you like Fullmetal Alchemist please check it out!

A couple of weeks after the fanfiction episode, Kagura, Rin, Hatori, and Momiji came over. And of course, Hatori was "only there to be Momiji's chaperone."

"Tohru-kun, it's been so long since I last saw you," Kagura said, hugging Tohru.

It was not long before Momiji followed, hugging Tohru, and turning into a rabbit. "Momiji, could you please try to restrain yourself? Even away from public places, that sort of thing is still inappropriate," Hatori said, slightly aggravated. Rin snorted in disgust, she didn't like Momiji much. "Hey, let's play on the computer," Momiji said, after he had transformed back and changed, as he turned it on. "Know any good websites?"  
It was then that Shigure entered the room, pulling Kyo (who had been hiding from Kagura) in with him. "Well… I _can_ show you one of my favorites…" he said.

Yuki raised his eyebrow in suspicion. _Is it…?_

As Shigure typed in the web address, Yuki slapped his head. "You stupid dog! What do you think you're doing?"

Shigure merely smirked at him and carried on. _Hmm… now what would be something fun to show this lot?_ He entered 'Hatori' in the character 1 box and 'Tohru' in the character 2 box. _I'll mess with Tori a bit…,_ he thought, clicking on the link to "A Doctor's Wish."

Hatori read a little, out of curiosity, and turned bright red. He then turned to Tohru, whose face was even more red than his own. "I think we should do something else now," Hatori said, embarrassed.

"Ah, Tori… you're just embarrassed because I found your favorite fanfiction," Shigure said, teasingly.

"What? Hatori reads this smut?" Kyo spoke up.

"Shut up. Both of you," Hatori said quietly. This rather surprised Tohru, who didn't expect to hear him say the words 'shut up.' But even as it was, she was already in a state of shock from what she had seen on the computer.

"I'm not done yet," said Shigure, who was having a little too much fun. He entered 'Kagura' in character box 1 and 'Momiji' in character box 2. He then clicked on the link to "One-sided lovers."

As Kyo read, he actually laughed, "I didn't know you were in love with Momiji, Kagura." She turned to him, her eyes filled with rage. "You know you're the only one for me, Kyo-kun," she said quietly. She then dragged him out of the room, and no one dared to follow. Momiji turned away from the screen, pouting, as everyone heard banging noises from the other room. "Why couldn't you have picked one with me and Tohru?" he whined, his eyes filling with tears.

"Look what you've done now, Shigure," Hatori said, as Momiji hugged Tohru. Of course, Momiji transformed. After the whole re-transformation and changing process was over, Hatori banned him from hugging Tohru for the rest of the day.

"Whaaaa-? Hatori-san!" Momiji whined

"It's a hassle to wait for you to change back and put on your clothes."

Shigure grabbed the mouse yet again, seeing that no one was paying attention, and entered 'Rin' into the character 1 box and 'Hatsuharu' into the character 2 box. He then clicked on the link to "A Knight and His Princess."

'**Rin clung to Haru, "You're my knight in shining armor, I love you!"'**

And that was enough for Rin.

"I never said that!" She yelled, making Tohru jump.

"We never said you did," Yuki said quietly, walking out of the room in irritation.

"You…" she glared at Shigure.

"H-hang on a minute!" Shigure said, seeing the anger in her eyes. "Isuzu-san, please don't fight!" Tohru said loudly, but it was too late. When Rin was through with Shigure, he ended up in the hospital.

"Hey Sensei, what happened to _you_?" Haru asked as he visited Shigure in the hospital.

"Your girlfriend beat me up. Really, she has anger management problems," Shigure said.

"Well, you did ask for it."

---

"Achoo!" Rin sneezed loudly.

"Rin-chan, do you have a cold? By the way, please try to cover your mouth when you do that…" Kagura said.

"I don't think I have a cold," Rin said, ignoring the 'cover your mouth' comment, "Weird…"

"You know, it's an old wives tale that when you sneeze, someone is talking about you," Kagura's mom said, laughing.

"What? Now that's ridiculous! Who would be talking about me?"

The End


End file.
